Couples coaching works on the dynamic rather than the participants. We're not building a case, assigning fault, or determining who remembered the conversation correctly. We're finding the sequence that reliably produces the fight and interrupting it somewhere earlier than either of you currently can.
Most couples arrive with a content problem: money, sex, in-laws, the division of labor. Underneath, it's usually a process problem, which is why the same argument can wear a different outfit each month and still feel brand new every time. We work on the process, and the content gets substantially easier to handle on your own.
The other thing this format gives you is a witnessed conversation. Some things only become sayable with a third person present, and once they've been said out loud in a room where nobody left, they tend to stay sayable afterward.
What we tend to work on:
The recurring conflict, mapped step by step, until both of you can see it coming from three moves out
Repair after rupture, which most couples were never taught and which matters considerably more than avoiding rupture
The gap between what one person is asking for and what the other person hears
Desire, initiation, and the sex conversation that keeps getting postponed
Renegotiating an arrangement that quietly stopped working: labor, time, money, autonomy
Transitions that reshuffle everything, like moving in together, a new baby, a career change, distance
Rebuilding trust after a specific breach, when you've both decided to try
Deciding, together and deliberately, whether to continue
Couples coaching works on the dynamic rather than the participants. We're not building a case, assigning fault, or determining who remembered the conversation correctly. We're finding the sequence that reliably produces the fight and interrupting it somewhere earlier than either of you currently can.
Most couples arrive with a content problem: money, sex, in-laws, the division of labor. Underneath, it's usually a process problem, which is why the same argument can wear a different outfit each month and still feel brand new every time. We work on the process, and the content gets substantially easier to handle on your own.
The other thing this format gives you is a witnessed conversation. Some things only become sayable with a third person present, and once they've been said out loud in a room where nobody left, they tend to stay sayable afterward.
What we tend to work on:
The recurring conflict, mapped step by step, until both of you can see it coming from three moves out
Repair after rupture, which most couples were never taught and which matters considerably more than avoiding rupture
The gap between what one person is asking for and what the other person hears
Desire, initiation, and the sex conversation that keeps getting postponed
Renegotiating an arrangement that quietly stopped working: labor, time, money, autonomy
Transitions that reshuffle everything, like moving in together, a new baby, a career change, distance
Rebuilding trust after a specific breach, when you've both decided to try
Deciding, together and deliberately, whether to continue